I try to connect & check on folk, engage, encourage, but I’m tired & down & hurting, right now. I don’t have an endless supply of sunshine these days. Sometimes, just standing up takes all of my strength. So, I deeply appreciate the notes you inbox me, the texts, your quick calls - even when I don’t pick up in time - to check on me, see if I need anything, to make me laugh. To let me know that I am seen/loved/missed/dug.
It’s been a hard year. So your convo, funny videos, book talk, song lyrics, the Words With Friends games, telling me about yourselves, your amens — you have helped me get through my days whether you knew it or not. You’ve helped me forget about the nausea & spasms, the indigo sleepless nights when I was sweating through withdrawal, you’ve allowed me to care about & focus on you so that I could get out of my head awhile. When I’ve sent out the call, the “whatcha know good,” & the “sup” or the “I’ve been thinking about your idea & I think this would be cool for you to check out” fb messages, you’ve hit me back (mostly). We’ve corresponded & arranged performances, you’ve updated me about your health crises. When I’ve stepped out to speak candidly about my physical & emotional health struggles, you’ve told me your stories, too. You’ve said thank you & shared links & swapped home remedies with me. When I’ve missed my mama out loud, you’ve missed her, too - or sent me hugs, or told me about your losses. We’ve talked about the news. You’ve wished me happy birthday. You’ve told me that my voice–my music, my late night thinking, my book commentary–matters to you.
So thank you. 2012 is almost gone. And we’ll get the chance to do things right & to muck things up one more time & to grieve together & celebrate & dream together. I have needed you. You are family & colleagues & friends & acquaintances & neighbors & allies to me. Many of you I’ve never met in person, but know you from our shared niche on the net. Or we’ve been separated by years or thousands of miles. We have tabernacled here—together.
And even though this note grew out of exasperation, it ends in thanksgiving & hope. Many thanks for making community with me. In each exchange - tiny or weighty - you remind me that we’re all connected & that our stories are meat for one another. Much love, from me to you & all points in between.